Full Blown Legbeard

So, I just wrote a post. And halfway through it, I looked at it and realized – I’m a legbeard.

What’s a legbeard? It’s the female equivalent of a neckbeard. Neckbeard, according to a paraphrased Urban Dictionary entry, is a derogatory term for slovenly, unhygenic male nerds. The more truly defining traits, according to what I have seen, is a sense of inflated self-worth and feeling superior to other people on little basis, while also nursing a healthy inferiority complex. They also tend to be atheists.

So, as I was reviewing my post, the thought crossed my mind that I fit all of those descriptors, except for the male, fedora, and beard part.

I am a slovenly female nerd, professional programmer, who views herself as seperate and superior to other females. Who can’t understand why males don’t want to be my platonic friend, despite the fact I’m oh so smart and have lots of masculine interests.

I also do not believe in a higher power, and occasionally indulge in smugness at this fact.

I have a healthy victim/persecution complex.

I have interests just to be cool. I have about a thousand of them, which I talk and talk and talk about but never really invest any time in. And lastly, at least part of the reason I went into CompSci was a desire to seem cool and stand-out for my daring non-conventional career. Ugh.

I eat insanely spicy food, and I lord my mastery of spice over others, like it makes me better/tougher/whatever.

I often complain about appearance standards for my gender, claiming makeup and fashion are costly scams to drain women of time, money, and energy.

And that leads into the most damning part.. I do match the term ‘legbeard.’ If I’m not anticipating wearing shorts, I allow a thicket to grow unchecked on my ankles. Pits are always shaved. Just saying. Because I’m sure you wanted to know.

It was like a bomb went off inside me. Of course I’m having difficulty being taken seriously by friends. We always joke about neckbeards, but I never saw that the label could be applied to me.
What was it about the post that caused this? It was a bit where I discussed how I didn’t have much in common with other women. That I didn’t like celebrities and fashion and manufactured pop stars. Something that atrocious stood out, even with the mental block I have about my worse tendencies.

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