So, a few days ago my half-sister abruptly put out that she was getting married.
She’s joining the air force in a month or so, and though she and her fiance have been talking about getting married for a few years, they decided that they’d marry before she has to go off to basic. Which will be late May or June.
I’m happy for her, thrilled, but the wedding will be.. difficult, to say the least.
Mainly because my father and stepmother will be there.
If you’re bored and want to read about dysfunction and abuse, here’s some of the back-history.
An Unbelievable Person
Schadenfreude Part 1: The “Happy Family”
Schadenfreude Part 2: Just Like Him to Ruin My Day
Schadenfreude Pt. 3: The Public Downward Spiral (The Facebookening)
Schadenfreude Pt. 4: Apathy and Bitter Things
TL;DR: Narcissist father allowed cruel trophy wife to destroy me emotionally, after I left the home at 16 trophy wife went off the rails with addictions and damaged my sister as well. Have not spoken to father in nearly five years.
In the last year or so, there’s been some drama I haven’t posted. Mainly, my father went apeshit that my sister asked me to be matron of honor at her wedding. Claimed she was choosing me over him. Now, I’m an adult but I have serious doubts about whether he is. I never stated that I wouldn’t go to her wedding because he was there. But he, as a giant emo baby man, couldn’t take that I would be there. A fierce argument amongst him, sister’s fiancé, and fiancé’s friends and family spiraled until my father posted this gem. A slight intended for my sister’s fiancé, who has a nerve problem with his leg that makes it hard to walk.
My father, a quality man.
For good reason, my sister’s fiancé doesn’t like our father. And for a little while, he was out of the wedding. Only, since my sister is kindhearted she.. of course.. sigh.. let him back in. I wonder how Fiancé feels about this. Probably not great.
I don’t know if I’m still the matron of honor. I’ve been avoiding chatting with my sister, overwhelmed by the prospect of uncomfortable conversations and possible confrontations.
I need a game plan. My husband will back me up at the wedding, of course. It will be hard for him to be in this situation and I’ll do my best to help him. First, I need to talk to my sister and maybe Fiancé and his mother, figure out what my role is and if they have any thoughts about father-dearest being a manchild at the wedding. Honestly, my immediate idea is that if he zeroes in and targets me, I will simply leave. I don’t want husband to challenge him, just back me up. I won’t be the one that ruins my sister’s wedding and I will do everything in my power to avoid conflict there. To the point I will offer to my sister to simply not come to the wedding, but be involved in planning.
Not going would relieve a lot of tension. It would mean not having to pretend and play nice to my ex-stepmother, who is so brain damaged from huffing spray paint she thinks we’re friends. It would also mean not walking on egg shells around my father in order to give my sister the wedding she deserves. It’s an option.
Both options are kind of shite. Part of me just hopes Father-dearest has another nuclear meltdown and gets banned right before the wedding. Part of me hopes sister-chan just elopes. The first is more likely than the other.
Whoo. I love weddings. So much. So. Much. /s