So, time for the wedding update. Just the rehearsal bit now, setting the stage for the next post.
Saturday, the day of rehearsal, was a day of anxiety. I found myself unable to do anything but surf reddit, mindlessly clicking to pass the time, fixating on constant novelty.
When I got to the church where the rehearsal was taking place, my step-aunt was there with her daughter. To my relief, she treated me normally.
Then my father arrived. He and my step-aunt talked in the hallway, dropping bombshell after bombshell about my ex-stepmother, their only connection. It had been a while since they talked, and they were catching up. During the conversation, my step-aunt revealed that I was not the only one on blast on Facebook, but that my stepmother had been sending long rants to her as well, and as a result my step-aunt had had to block her several times. “You can tell when she’s using,” was the common phrase. My step-aunt had apparently stepped in to ask my ex-stepmother and their brother to help take care of their father, who was always a kind man to me, and who is getting increasingly frail. My ex-stepmother flew off the handle and ranted that my step-aunt was trying to take over the family and be in charge.
Also revealed was that my ex-stepmother was not doing well financially. Not surprising she can’t keep a job when she’s drunk/high most of the time.
My husband and I sat in the conference room where the rehearsal was taking place, listening to the conversation floating down to us from the hallway. Both of us were kind of on edge, wondering how my father was going to act when he saw me.
Finally, it came. He walked in with his new wife and saw me. He approached me and I stood up. He put his arms out towards me and I took two steps back.
“Queen Legbeard. My baby girl. I was there when you were born, I was the first person to hold you.”
Let me say this. To anyone else reading this, this might seem like some sort of tender reunion. Like my father is some sort of.. nice man. It was emotional blackmail, appealing to a sense of familial duty that was never instilled in me. Can’t have that if no one had that towards you.
Regardless, I was there for my sister. I let him hug me as two tears ran down his face. I didn’t really feel anything. I just stood there and let him hug me.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he pulled away. I looked at him and said,”It’s a start. We have a lot to talk about. But not here, not on Sister’s wedding.”
And to my relief, he agreed. His new wife, a slight woman with brown hair, looked on.
My Husband, later on, stated he should have stepped in, stopped my father from hugging me. I would have preferred that, really. Nothing like being forced into touching someone that let you be abused. But it’s not Husband’s fault. He’s not really prepared for this kind of thing.
Other people showed up. And finally, 20 minutes or so late, my sister and her fiance showed up. When my sister got there, she looked around. “Where’s my mom?”
Apparently, they had gone over to get her for the rehearsal, but sat and waited while my ex-stepmother was in the bathroom. Presumably, drinking or something. My sister and her fiance were forced to leave her behind.
Well, in ex-stepmother’s fashion, she sent messages and posts to everyone on Facebook. Thank the gods for Facebook, it helps people see how insane and unreasonable she is, when no one would believe me before.
“Who has a rehearsal dinner before the night of their daughter’s wedding and does not invite their mother. I’m not going. Wasn’t invited! I’m just dropping off decorations and I hope somebody will be kind enough to send me a picture. Yes [My Father], that is being clearly passive aggressive! And by the way I don’t care how smart your wife is don’t tell me what passive aggressive means.“
Oh dear, my father said something nice about his new wife. So anyways, ex-stepmother didn’t show up to the rehearsal. Poor sister was forced to hear about this message, as people were talking it. Her sister, my step-aunt, was forced to step in and run it, and it went fairly smoothly. Given my ex-stepmother’s behavior at the wedding the next day, I’m glad she didn’t come to the rehearsal.
At one point, people gathered together and started discussing my ex-stepmother again. How pleased she would have been. Other bombshells dropped: My ex-stepmother had proclaimed she still loved my father before he married his new-wife. Poor woman. New-wife, that is.
I’ll post the wedding update tomorrow. And boy, it’s a doozy.