Well, didn’t make it to Fellowship on Sunday. Saturday night ran a little long, and I was up until 3am. That’s okay. There’s always next week.
Housemate K moved out on Thursday of last week. It’s been kinda neat, him not being there. I don’t have to think about how much clothes I’m wearing before moving around in the common areas of the house. Given the heat, I prefer less clothing. I catch myself still thinking, is Housemate K home? Oh, Housemate K’s car isn’t parked outside. Housemate K might be in the bathroom. Etcetera. Those little pauses will go away with time. I also feel a little more free to be derpy and weird at home, as Husband seems to encourage me to do so. I still feel self-conscious at home. I need to have no filter sometimes. If I had to pretend to be proper and appropriate all the time I’d never get out of bed.
Saturday afternoon I finally summoned up the willpower to go outside and weedwhack our backyard, which was overgrown with milkweed vines, crabgrass, and plants I refer to as “spiny motherfackers.” Months had gone by needing this, and guilt built up day by day; I felt bad for our neighbors with their immaculately kept backyard, having to look at our eyesore backyard. Husband, of course, had fun projects to do and didn’t notice the state of the yard. Up to me, again. But I didn’t even take any moda to do the work either. Of course, it helped that Saturday was the mildest Saturday we’d had in a while. But now my arms are sore, so meh. Of course, there is still more to do.. Still more. ;_;
The last few weeks when I have been cleaning, I’ve focused on the bedroom, the kitchen, living room, hallways, etc, but not on my office. I tend to just collapse in my office when I’m done with housework. My office has, unfortunately, become my non-productivity center. Tons of stuff laying on my desk, not done, encouraging me to do a whole lot of nothing. I need to get the scanner out, scan all my old writings, then shred the fack out of them. A clear desk is an invitation for creativity.. Or productivity at least. Maybe I will fixate tonight on scanning documents and clearing my desk. I didn’t sleep well last night so.. Maybe. I might just come home and nap. Super groggy even now.
In other news.. I had the thought today that if social competition was a sport, I’d sit in the bleachers and go,”Whoo sports, go sports go” in the most monotone, sarcastic way. People spend so much time and energy making sure others don’t have stuff as nice as theirs. It may sound like a #edgelord kind of a thing but I’m kind of sick of it. #deep #sheeple #edgy
It’s not something I can ever escape though. It’s kind of built in to people. Guess I need aliens, or something. Take me on-board your beautiful ship, show me the world as I’d love to see it.