I’m excited for Halloween this year. For the first time ever, I am making an effort and spending money on a costume. I’m going as season 7 Cersei from Game of Thrones. I’ve sunk about $300 in so far- $150 on a crown replica and $150 on a custom dress. I know, right? A dress? But if you watch the show or have read the books, understanding why I’m cosplaying Cersei is clear. She is abhorrently evil, yet I still relate. The later books in the series provide some context to her character. Cersei is born into a world (Westeros) where women are traded for boosting inter-familial relationships and financial gain, mostly without their consent. Treated like cattle. In the books, Cersei resents her lack of power over her own life, and wonders what it’s like to be a male. Other than Brienne, who I also relate to, Cersei is the character I feel closest to. Disregarding the twincest entirely.
When I read the books, watch the show, of course I root for the Starks and the Targaryens. No one wants Cersei to win the game of thrones, not even I do. She is a selfish woman who disregards everyone that cares about her, she is a terrible queen. But she is a great antagonist, and not everyone can be a protagonist. Especially not me.
After chopping off my hair and dyeing it slightly lighter, I saw that Cersei could be a look I might pull off. Since I am a fatty McFatterson, I’m going to carry a prop with me. A goblet, since the the character likes to drink, but instead of wine I will fill it with cheetos. It’ll take my costume to another level- instead of being Fat Cersei, I will be Funny Fat Cersei. I’m practicing my eyebrow maneuvers and my faintest look of disgust. Someone online pegged her facial expressions for me: she looks like she smells a nasty fart at all times.
I honestly can’t think of another person I could cosplay. Fat women are nearly invisible in media, and I insist on dressing to my body type for the most part, unless I can take it to another level. Of course, what I prefer isn’t right for everyone else- dress whatever way you like, cosplay as whoever you like.
Auguhh. I want the costume to be together right now. Waiting is difficult.. Especially with my new Facebook account set up.
I got tired of being pulled between my desire to be off-the-walls and filter-free on Facebook between the anxiety that I needed to be appropriate and proper online. Now I have an account where I can be myself, and the old one with my real name has been turned bland and sterile. I added back all the people I dropped back in January on my old account. On my new account, I went all Game of Thrones. I can’t wait until I have the costume together, and can post pictures of it there.
I’m aware I care far, far too much about social media. But the internet is and has always been my home, a haven where I can like what I want and be who I am. Real life demands certain things of me that I’m not willing to give. I don’t want to continue to be a dull, meek cow that assumes (wrongly) that people like her. Imma channel Cersei, and give no fucks. I don’t have a brother, so, stop right there. 🙂